


If you don't ask, you don't get

by devera



Category: FAKE (Manga)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-19
Updated: 2010-12-19
Packaged: 2017-10-13 18:54:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/140555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devera/pseuds/devera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryo would give Dee anything. If only he would make a list.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If you don't ask, you don't get

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yue_ix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yue_ix/gifts).



Ryo's not stupid. Possibly no-one would ever argue he was. But even if he's not, there are some things he's just not good at. He discovers, much to his dismay, that trying to find out what's wrong with Dee is one of those things.

"What? Wrong?" Dee says bemusedly over his eggs one morning, when Ryo finally feels compelled to ask. It's been nothing but a nagging feeling up until now, but he needs to be sure.

"Nothing's wrong. Why? Do I look funny? Hey, maybe I should call in sick to work? Oh, geez, did you see this about the defense attorney in the paper this morning?" Dee shakes his head and frowns into his next sip of coffee. "What a prick. There's no way that guy's getting off…"

Ryo subsides and says nothing, but he's not mistaken. There is definitely something wrong. Dee's… Well, Dee is the way he normally is, now that they're settling into something of a routine. He jokes and teases and jumps on Ryo every chance he gets, and half the time Ryo doesn't know what he wants to do more – throttle him or throw him out, but there's something else happening, something Dee seems unwilling to say. Ryo wishes he knew what it was that he's sensing; not hesitance, nor any kind of cooling of Dee's passions, god forbid, but… Well, maybe if he was better at this, at relationships, he would know what to look for. For now, he supposes he'll just have to wait and see.

 

And that's harder than it looks. Two weeks later, he's no closer to discovering the truth, and no less sure there is something to discover than he was before. It's frustrating, to say the least, and a little worrying. And maybe Dee isn't even aware that he's doing it, but Ryo finds that hard to believe. He starts to speak and then seems to think better of it, smoothing the glitch over with a smile and a joke and something designed to distract. He sometimes sits and stares at Ryo with an odd, wistful look on his face, when he thinks Ryo's not paying attention, but looks totally like he's busy doing something important when Ryo finally turns. More than once, Ryo's caught him in an aborted movement, as if he was about to touch him and then decides against it, and then acts like nothing happened. It's driving Ryo crazy, but he's got no choice but to let whatever it is simmer, because he's asked and he's watched and he's tried to make it clear that if Dee wants to talk, he'll listen, but none of it seems to be working.

The longer it goes on, the more Ryo starts to worry. It's making it hard to concentrate on anything, and he hates himself for it, hates that he can't seem to stop worrying even when Dee's grinning that grin of his that he reserves specifically for the weekends that Bikky spends away, the one that Ryo likes to pretend he can't see but that makes his heart beat just that little harder anyway. He fidgets almost the whole way through what might have otherwise been a very nice, very romantic dinner, and by the time they're home and Dee is kissing him and peeling off his clothes, he's almost beside himself. He can't focus, can't appreciate the wicked look Dee gives him as he pushes him back on the bed and settles on the floor between his knees, and he can only stare, open mouthed and near panicked when Dee hunches up and leans over him and slides his mouth around Ryo's cock.

Ryo hears himself make a noise, and maybe Dee will be too busy to realise that it sounds like a sob, but Ryo almost can't bear to watch, because Dee's so… He's so beautiful, his dark hair and his dark lashes and his smooth skin and his lips stretched wide around Ryo and, god, what if he wants to end it? What if that's what's wrong? But it can't be, right? Because they're happy. They love each other. Ryo was sure of that, so sure, but what if he's -

"You know," Dee drawls from the vicinity of his groin, before raising his head to fix Ryo with a faint frown. "I'm gonna start taking it personally in a minute. I mean, it's been a while since I've had any kind of consensus, but I'm pretty sure I'm not that bad."

"What?" Ryo says, half dazed from the combination of the sudden fear gripping him and the beat of arousal beginning to throb under Dee's skillful ministrations.

"What's wrong?"

Ryo blinks, tries to breathe enough to form words. "Nothing's wrong."

Dee gives him a look; it'd probably have more weight, Ryo thinks, if his mouth didn't appear so wet and lewd and his skin wasn't flushed a warm pink.

"There is. There's been something wrong for a while now. Want to tell me about it?"

"Now?" Ryo says without thinking, and wins himself a leering grin.

"Well, we could talk about it later, but I plan on being asleep. And then in the morning we have that enquiry to go to, and then after that…"

"I'm not the one with the problem," Ryo says, perhaps a little more sharply than he intended. "You are. You know, this relationship goes both ways, Dee. If there's a problem, you need to just be honest and tell me."

Dee looks startled for a moment, and then he smiles, a little _too_ smoothly Ryo thinks. His hands slide gently up Ryo's bare thighs.

"What are you talking about? There's no problem. You're just trying to change the subject."

Ryo frowns, and pushes himself up onto his elbows to give Dee one of _his_ looks, his heart thudding in his chest and not at all from the sex they were just about to have. He thinks, maybe, he might even be angry.

"No, I'm not. You brought it up. I'm no good at this, Dee," he adds, gentling his tone, because this is important and he's tried to say it before and not gotten through. "You know that. I don't want to mess it up more than I already am."

Dee looks a little lost. "You're not messing anything up."

But Ryo's suddenly sure it's true; Dee wouldn't look like that if it wasn't.

"Yes, I am, and I want to make it better, but I don't know how. You never tell me what _you_ want."

Dee laughs a little. "Sure I do. All the time." Then he gives Ryo his best lecherous smile. "Didn't I just say I wanted to suck you off?"

Ryo resists the urge to roll his eyes; Dee's avoiding the question. Ryo's noticed he's good at that.

"Right, because that's totally about you."

"Hey! I happen to really enjoy-"

"Dee," Ryo says, and he's really not afraid to use the big guns on this one. " _Please_."

Dee's expression twitches into a frown, and then suddenly he's not looking at Ryo. Instead the mole high on Ryo's hip seems to be infinitely more interesting than any expression of Ryo's.

"Jesus, you…" he breathes, almost to himself, and if Ryo didn't know better he'd say Dee sounded afraid. "Okay. Okay, you're right. I mean, it's not that anything's _wrong_ , Ryo. Definitely not. But I just…"

He hesitates and Ryo reminds himself that gentle interrogation gets better results than violence. Nine times out of ten. "What, Dee?"

Dee lifts his gaze again, and Ryo thought he'd have to brace himself for it, but Dee's hands are gripping Ryo like he thinks Ryo's going to run away.

"Ryo, I don't want you to think I'm unhappy with the way things are. Because, seriously, I'm not," he says earnestly, and his thumbs drag slowly across Ryo's thighs.

Ryo takes a deep breath. He knows Dee well enough to hear the 'but'.

"But?"

"But sometimes… I mean, I wasn't sure if you…"

"What?" Ryo almost wants to scream, wants to jump on Dee and shake it out of him. God above, the man is the most frustrating, the most hard to understand, the most aggravating-

"I want you to fuck me."

Ryo's takes a breath, and his heart does a violent little one-three. He can't have heard right. He's not hearing right. He can't be.

"It's not your thing, I know that," Dee says quickly, while Ryo can only seem to stare open mouthed at him, because clearly he hasn't noticed that that's _open mouthed relief_ and not abject fury, or possibly even undisguised disgust.

"And it's not that big a deal," he continues a little desperately, like he's willing Ryo to believe him. "Honest. If you don't want to, it's not like I don't love what we do. I mean, Christ, you're seriously the best I've ever had, and I love you like crazy, so it's really not a-"

"Okay," Ryo says quietly, over the top of Dee's monologue, because if he doesn't stop him talking, he may just kill him.

Dee stops, blinks. "What?" he says faintly.

Ryo wets his lips, looks at Dee's face and how could he have not seen this before? How could he have not realized? Now, so many of Dee's little jokes, his little moments, have so much more significance.

"Okay," Ryo repeats.

"Oh," Dee says, but it's plain by the look on his face that he hadn't expected it to be that simple.

"What?" Ryo demands gently, and reaches down to put his hand against the side of Dee's face. His stubble is already starting to prickle again, and the corner of his mouth is soft and moist when Ryo slides the pad of his thumb against it. "You thought I wouldn't want to? _That's_ what you've been worried about all this time? That I wouldn't want to do that with you?" And suddenly, he can't help but see the humor in it. He'd been worried it was something terrible, something that was going to break them up, and now it's clear that Dee had been worried more or less about the same thing. The relief Ryo feels at the realization almost makes him dizzy, makes him want to laugh out loud and clap his arms around Dee and call him seven different kinds of idiot. But instead he just says, "You know, I did have girlfriends, in the past. I even slept with some of them."

Dee looks like he doesn't know whether to pout or scowl. "Look, I'm seriously not okay with you talking about your ex girlfriends when we're having sex. And wait. Did you just call me a girl?"

Ryo just shakes his head and tries not to smile as much as he suddenly feels like he wants to; it would probably be taken the wrong way at this point.

"I'm just pointing out that I think it's safe to say you don't have to worry and that I know what I'm doing."

"You know, it's not exactly the same as…" Dee starts, but then stops, possibly because of the look Ryo knows is right now on his face. "…Yeah, okay, so you probably know what you're doing. But you…"

"Dee. Are you trying to talk me out of it? Because, you know, somehow it's only making it sound like a challenge…"

"What?" Dee splutters. "No! Seriously not! I'm no challenge. I'm completely easy. Ask anybody."

And really, Ryo cannot let an opening like that go.

"Anybody?" he repeats darkly, and shifts his hand to wrap around the back of Dee's neck and jerk him closer. It's enough of a surprise that Dee unbalances a bit, fumbling forward until he's half draped over Ryo's naked lap, and his eyes are wide and startled as he glances up.

"Uh," he starts, but Ryo isn't a cop for nothing, and he knows when to press an advantage and when to cut someone loose and now is not the time to be cutting Dee loose.

"Dee, that sounds a little like you've been getting what you need somewhere else, and I'd be really, really unhappy if that was the case."

"Uh, no. I mean, I haven't! I'm not!" Dee protests, and he's starting to look genuinely freaked. "Seriously. Ryo, I thought we had this talk? I'm not –"

"I'm not sure," Ryo overrides him, "I can believe what you’re saying. I mean, if you can't just tell me how you feel, where does that leave us?"

"Ryo, man, don't do this. Not right now…"

Ryo ignores him, makes his expression as severe as he knows how. "You want to convince me? Then I want proof. Get up and get on the bed."

There's a moment where Dee stares at him, where Ryo can see it starting to click with him what it is that Ryo's actually doing, as opposed to what it looks like he's doing. Weirdly, waiting for him to get it, to get on board with it – and Ryo's pretty sure he will be just as soon as he puts it together – makes Ryo's heart pound, like this is somehow a risky venture. It's a hell of a lot less risky than some of the things Dee's somehow managed to talk him into doing, but somehow it feels like this is going to change things, and he's not sure how, and he's not even sure it's what Dee really wants.

But there's one thing he knows Dee does want, now, finally, and Ryo doesn't see why he shouldn't have it.

"I'm waiting, Dee. Limited window of opportunity here."

That gets Dee moving, and Ryo suppresses a smirk.

"Jesus! Okay, okay!" Dee complains, but he's grinning in a way that tells Ryo that he's got it now, and everything is going to be alright. He pushes himself to his feet and steps around Ryo, puts a knee up on the bed, but he clearly just can't not have the last word. "And I thought you were a pushy bottom," he quips.

It's only part annoyance that makes Ryo grab Dee's wrist and with his other hand give him a nice direct shove between the shoulder blades. It's all satisfaction, however, to hear Dee give a bit of a surprised yelp as he tips face first into the mattress. And before he can recover, Ryo vaults up onto the bed and straddles himself across Dee's naked back.

"Oof," Dee huffs. "Geez, you're heavy. What have you been-"

"Quiet," Ryo tells him, but he's actually a little surprised when Dee snaps his mouth shut on whatever he'd been about to say. "You know, I thought something was really wrong. Seriously. I thought you wanted to break up, or that you were going to tell me you were dying, or…"

"What?!" Dee gasps, trying to turn around to face him and giving up when Ryo doesn't move. "Are you crazy? What the hell ever gave you that idea?!"

"It doesn't matter," Ryo tells him slowly. "Suffice it to say, I'm not stupid, and you've never had a problem telling me something before. What was I supposed to think?"

"But –" Dee starts.

"No," Ryo says, and leans down so he can speak in Dee's ear, his chest pressed flush along Dee's warm back, their skin dragging and sticking together, his erection slipping to fit snugly between Dee's slightly spread thighs. "We'll talk about it later. Right now, you're going to make it up to me."

" _I'm_ going to make it up to _you_?" Dee repeats.

"That's right," Ryo says, flicking his tongue out briefly to lave against Dee's ear, and his breath is coming just as short as when Dee does it to him at the feel of Dee shuddering underneath him. "Since you couldn't tell me what you wanted simply and straight away, and made me worry, clearly this is something we're going to have to work on, and there's no time like the present, right? So, you're going to tell me, right now, what you want."

Dee makes a sound of annoyance, but it's spoiled by the slightly breathless quality to his voice when he says, "I've already told you, or weren't you listening?"

Ryo smiles at that. So like Dee to issue a challenge when he's been backed into a corner. So like him to not know when he's beat.

"Sure," Ryo agrees lowly. "You said you want me to _fuck_ you."

Dee gasps in a silent breath at that, the sound of Ryo using that word when he usually never does.

"And since I'm still listening, I believe I'm asking you to tell me _how_ you want to be fucked."

"Jesus," Dee mutters half into the bedspread, in the kind of tone that Ryo recognizes from all the times he's gotten himself into more trouble than he knows how to handle. "Fuck. This is… This is fine. Just like… Anything you want, Ryo. Whatever." But he doesn't sound as casual about it as he maybe thinks he does. His voice is a little shaky, his breathing a little fast, and suddenly it hits Ryo, not on an intellectual level, or even on an emotional one; hits him in a purely physical way how much Dee wants this. His body is all tension underneath him, expectant. His skin is hot, a little flushed looking and he seems to be practically shivering with the desire to move.

"Anything _I_ want?" Ryo repeats, shifting so he can skim a hand down the slope of Dee's spine to his backside and slip his fingers down along Dee's crack. "But this is about you, Dee, right? What you want. What you need to tell me. I mean, I won't know unless you tell me. Do you want it slow and gentle? Or do you want it a little rough, maybe? I could get my handcuffs. They're only over there."

His heart is pounding, fear, or excitement, or both; he's not sure. He's never talked like this before, but the effect that it's having on Dee, on them both, is electrifying. Dee is trembling underneath him, and surely he must be able to feel the press of Ryo's erection against the muscled curve of his thigh. He has to realise what this is doing to Ryo, how willing he is. He has to understand that Ryo wants it too, wants him, wants him to be happy.

"I-" Dee starts hoarsely, and his ribcage is expanding and contracting quickly with his breath. "It's really okay?"

The question takes Ryo by surprise, the sheer vulnerability of it. Christ, how did Dee grow up so giving on one hand, and so afraid of receiving on the other? Ryo almost can't speak for several long seconds, and instead can only lean down and press long, heartfelt kisses to Dee's skin.

"Yes, it's okay," he says finally, gently. "I love you. Very little you could ever say will change that."

Dee shudders underneath him again; this time, Ryo's fairly sure it's not because of the way he's touching him.

"Then, I…" Dee starts. "I want you to just slick up and do it."

Ryo takes a steadying breath, but for a second it's hard to think beyond what it's going to be like to have Dee underneath him, to be inside him. They've never done this before; Ryo hasn't even contemplated it, but now that they're here, he doesn't hate the idea. In fact, he's not even close to hating it.

"You want me to hurt you?" he asks softly, and his throat tries to close on the words but it has to be asked; he has to know.

Dee makes a small sound somewhere into the mattress, but he's shaking his head when he comes back up for air.

"No," he breathes. "You won't. It's okay. You won't."

"You'll tell me if I hurt you," Ryo says, and he means it as an order.

"Yes," Dee promises.

Ryo takes another breath. "Alright," he agrees. "Stay there."

Dee nods mutely, and Ryo climbs off him and collects their lube and a condom, already knowing what Dee would say if he tried this without it. It's weird, to be getting himself ready in this way, rolling on the condom, squeezing the lube into his own hand and coating himself in a couple of efficient strokes, but Dee hasn't moved, and his breathing hasn't calmed any, and neither has Ryo's erection flagged.

"No prep," Dee says from the bed. "Just… go slow to start, okay? Don't want to tear the condom."

Ryo nods wordlessly and climbs back on the bed, and Dee pushes himself up on his hands and knees to meet him and Ryo's heart is thudding in his chest and it's stupid but he has to will his hands not to shake as he fits himself against Dee's back and uses a hand to line himself up.

"It's okay," Dee is saying on a rush of breath. "It's okay, Ryo. I really want this. You have no idea how – I… Come on, it's okay."

"Shhh…" Ryo soothes, because Dee's not talking to reassure Ryo. "Shhh. Just let me…" If he drags this out any longer, either one or both of them are going to snap. He pushes, just a little, and Dee lets out a sound a little like relief and a lot like anticipation, so he pushes a little more. Dee is tight, tense in his arms, resisting him, and it doesn't seem like he's going to be able to do this after all. How can Dee's mouth say he wants it when his body is saying the opposite? He goes to pull out, sacrificing the little ground he's won, but Dee shakes his head like he knows what Ryo's thinking.

"Ryo," he groans. "Please."

"I won't hurt you," Ryo argues firmly, his hand sweeping up and down Dee's side in slow, reassuring strokes. "If you want me to do this, you have to relax. It's what you're always telling me. Besides, you have to give me some time. This is new to me. I've got to work up to pounding you into the mattress."

The joke has the desired effect – Dee lets out a huff of laughter.

"New to it?" Dee repeats breathlessly. "You're kidding, right? You're doing... Christ, you're doing great."

"Glad to hear it," Ryo murmurs, pressing kisses to the damp indents of Dee's spine, breathing in his scent and just holding him.

"It wouldn't matter anyway," Dee continues haltingly, most of his focus on where they're straining to join. "What you do. When we're together. It's like I'm drowning in you. I can't even -"

Ryo kisses his shoulder, stretches up to kiss the nape of his neck. They're moving, slowly rocking against each other, but Dee is still talking and Ryo is still listening.

"I want you to feel it too, what I feel. I want to be that for you. Everything. Everything you are to me. I –"

"Dee, you already are," Ryo says, and presses his face against Dee's skin and hopes Dee will mistake the tears prickling his eyes for sweat. Dee has no problem with expressing himself, but the depth of his emotion goes further even than Ryo suspected. And maybe Dee's afraid Ryo doesn't feel for him to the same degree, but he does and he has to take a moment to breathe past the pang deep in his chest. It seems like Dee's not the only one here at fault for not saying what he wants or feels.

"I just. I need this, Ryo. Just so I know, sometimes, that you... I'm sorry if that's –"

"Shhh," Ryo tells him again. "It's okay. Does it _feel_ like I mind to you?"

Dee lets out another little laugh. Ryo uses the distraction to push further into him, and the head of his cock slips without warning past the first ring of tight muscle.

"God!" Dee gasps.

Ryo freezes. "Am I –"

"No," Dee grates. "Keep going. Ryo!"

Ryo does, and the resistance is a little less now, the push a little easier. Dee's head hangs down, but his body is straining, eager, shifting to fit itself to Ryo. It's incredibly arousing, and before he can stop himself, Ryo thrusts his hips, pushing himself the rest of the way in. Then he has to stop for his own sake, taking deep, calming breaths against Dee's back because, god, he feels _incredible_.

"Move," Dee is saying shakily. "Move, move, move."

Ryo takes another deep breath and does.

It's like everything Ryo has learned about Dee, has come to expect from him, and then it's like so much more. Dee is usually so much in control, usually so focused on making it good for Ryo, but right now he's trembling and panting in Ryo's hold, pushing back to meet each thrust and making small, satisfied sounds as he does. It's… mesmerizing, thrilling. Dee is suddenly a creature Ryo has never seen before, wild and exotic and excruciatingly beautiful, and Ryo wants to have him, and at the same time wants to give him everything he's ever desired.

"Dee," he gasps, and even though he's the one doing this, he still feels like he has to cling to Dee merely to stay afloat. "God, Dee."

"Harder," Dee groans. "Ryo. Fuck. You don't have to be so- Oh, fuck. Oh, god. Oh yeah, come on. Jesus, that feels so…"

Ryo hopes Dee was going to say good, and from the way Dee's hips roll back against his, the way he spreads his legs a little more and drops his head again as Ryo thrusts harder, faster, Ryo is reassured that it probably was. He feels like another person, a version of him that takes pride, takes pleasure in ownership of this man, and he finds he doesn't care whether the sentiment is right or not. He wants it. Dee wants it. He can feel it in every shudder and twitch and thrust, what Dee wants, and Ryo loves him, and loves him enough to finally let go and give it to him. He pushes Dee down, shoves into him hard once, and then again, and again. Dee doesn't fight him; the opposite, in fact. He's moaning, saying Ryo's name like it's some kind of prayer, and Ryo drapes himself across Dee's back, slides his hand around to his erection, hot and wet and jerking under his touch, and sinks his teeth into Dee's shoulder as he thrusts into him again, pushing Dee into his fist.

Dee bucks, and swears, the words startling out of him. Suddenly Ryo can feel him pulsing in his hold, and where they're joined, clamping down around his cock. He's not going to last more than another thrust, hasn't got the breath to say everything he wants to say to him, and then all of a sudden there isn't enough time. His orgasm surges like a storm swell, absolute and overwhelming. He's only vaguely aware that he's crying out, muffled against Dee's shuddering back, as bliss swamps him, transports him for a few breathless, dizzying moments, until he opens his eyes to find himself back on familiar shores, Dee panting and completely lax underneath him. It's a monumental effort then, to move, but he remembers how heavy Dee always is, after.

They lie for a while, Dee sprawled face down on the bed, his skin shining with sweat and pink with exertion, Ryo on his back next to him, staring dazedly at the ceiling.

"Holy shit," Dee mumbles eventually, and it's got to be endorphins that make Ryo start to giggle. "That was- How the hell did we go from talking about my private Wish List to the most spectacular fuck of my life?"

Ryo chokes back another laugh, doesn't quite manage it.

"Well," he snorts. "See what you get when you ask?" he says.

Dee turns his head to stare at him, and when Ryo sees his face he starts to laugh in earnest, but then Dee's suddenly laughing with him, and like they planned it, they roll towards one another and kiss until they don't have any breath to laugh with.

"I love you like absolute crazy," Dee breathes when they part to lie on their sides, not all that far apart, and his eyes are shining with some kind of light that Ryo could say he's never seen before, except he has. "Or at least I thought I did, until just a minute ago. Now, I think I may have grossly underestimated the situation."

Ryo smiles and wraps his arms around Dee and leans in to kiss him again.

"Well, that just won't do, now will it. There's another issue we're going to have to work on."

"Huh?" Dee says intelligently, but the look on his face when Ryo's hand strays over his hip and the curve of his buttocks and down is much more eloquent. "You're kidding? Again? Already?" He looks like all his Christmases have come at once.

"Well," Ryo demurs. "Maybe not right now, but I figure we have long enough for you to perhaps tell me what else you want. And maybe if you're good, you might even get it."

Dee regards him with huge eyes. "Oh my god," he breathes fervently. "Never, _ever_ leave me."

And he's grinning as he says it, like he's already got everything he's ever wanted. Of course, that doesn't mean that Ryo isn't going to do his best to give it to him again. Right now, in fact.


End file.
